


Something to Dream To

by TonySawicki



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-29 23:56:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8510824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TonySawicki/pseuds/TonySawicki
Summary: Beth's ex-lover shows up at her place and she finds herself falling into the same old pattern yet again





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much entirely inspired by/based on the song, "Something to Dream to" by Sylvie Lewis. It felt like soccercop to me, and this is what came out.   
> I don't own Orphan Black, or anything Sylvie Lewis-related, like some of the lyrics included in the story

Beth woke early one morning to a phone call from Alison Hendrix.

“Hello?” Beth made sure to sound more awake than she felt.

“Beth? Hello, it’s me, Alison.”

“Yeah, what’s up?” Beth threw her legs over the side of the bed and pushed back her hair.

“Not much. Oh, nothing really. I mean, I just wondered if I might come over…”

“Come over… here? Now?” It had been weeks at least since Beth had seen the other woman. Alison had broken off their affair ages ago to reconnect with her husband, and a lot of her social circles had changed. “I don’t know, it’s pretty early, don’t you think?”

“Oh…”

“Oh? Why, what is it?”

“No, nothing, just… I’m just outside.”

“What??” Beth got up and hurried to the window, peering through the blinds. Sure enough, there was Alison Hendrix, sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against a public mailbox. Beth sighed as she took in the sight of her. Alison hadn’t changed much, maybe her hair was a little bit longer… but somehow she looked different. Rather than the lively, if hot-tempered woman Beth had loved, she seemed tired, sad behind her perfect smile.

Beth sighed again. “I’ll be right there.” She threw a robe on, and glanced in the mirror, pushing her hair out of her face to make herself more presentable. She made her way down the hall, and, after a moment’s thought, she poured a glass of wine and held it in one hand as she opened the front door.

Alison gave her a tired smile. “Good to see you again,” she said.

Beth handed over the glass of wine and ushered Alison inside to have a seat at her kitchen island.

“How have things been?” Beth asked, putting a pot of coffee on for herself. There were many more things she wanted to ask. _What are you doing here? What happened to ‘changing your lifestyle’? How long are we going to carry on meeting like this?_ This was not the first time Alison had shown up without warning, only to fade back into excuses and radio silence after too much wine and a night of passion. _Why can’t we be friends?_ Beth wondered, watching as Alison sipped her wine and glanced nervously around the room. 

All of these questions were too much, too heavy. Alison would never be able to answer them truthfully, and Beth knew it. So she kept the conversation easy. “Keeping busy?”

“Oh,” Alison nodded, setting her glass down. “Busy, busy, busy. I can hardly catch a moment to myself— I know I’m a mess.” Her hands went to her hair and she began fidgeting with it.

Beth shook her head as she poured coffee into a mug and made her way over to sit across from her ex-lover. “You look beautiful,” she said.

Alison smiled, but there was something behind it again; Beth could tell she didn’t believe her.

As they went on talking, even in this casual, idle chatter, Beth was reminded of why she was so drawn to Alison, who was so funny and intelligent. She always kept Beth from getting bored and offered a different perspective from anyone else she knew. Throughout the conversation, Alison would look towards the bedroom and then back at Beth.

Alison sipped her wine and Beth thought it seemed to be disappearing a bit too quickly. She didn’t say anything, but watching Alison as they talked it was clear that this wasn’t the first drink she’d had this morning. Beth looked into her coffee cup and internalized a sigh. She should have guessed as much. Alison hadn’t come to see her sober in… Actually maybe she had _never_ come to see Beth sober.

Beth’s thoughts were cut short by the appearance of Alison’s hand covering her own. “I’ve been thinking about you,” Alison said, with that strange smile.

Beth took Alison’s hand firmly, grasping it as she grasped for control of the situation. “Me too. I think about you a lot.”

Alison leaned forward, resting her chin on her free hand. “A lot?” She let out a giggle, and unconsciously glanced toward Beth’s bedroom again. “I miss you, baby.”

Beth looked back into her coffee cup. “Do you need more wine or any—”

“Beth,” Alison pulled Beth’s hand closer, lacing her fingers with hers. “Remember the _good_ times we used to have together? I miss that.” She brought Beth’s hand to her lips, gently kissing her knuckles. “I miss you,” she said again.

Beth couldn’t tell whether she felt like laughing or crying. She settled for a helpless half-chuckle as she reclaimed her hand and balled it into a fist on her knee. “I—uh—heh, I miss you too, but if you remember—”

Alison stopped her with a kiss. She’d stood and moved across to where Beth sat at the counter. She spun her around to face her and kissed her again, with a strength that Beth found irresistible. She grabbed Alison’s shoulders and walked, without breaking the kiss until she had Alison’s back against the wall. When she pulled back Alison was grinning and rosy-cheeked, her lipstick still immaculate.

Beth ran both hands through her hair and took a couple steps back. She chuckled again, “Baby… _Alison_ … Don’t you get it?” Alison’s smile faltered. “You’re no good for me,” Beth said, crossing her arms defensively.

But she didn’t stop her when Alison kissed her again and led her to the bedroom at last.

——————————

As the two women lay in a tangle of bedclothes, the morning was gaining momentum and reaching towards a beautiful day. Beth was so tired she could feel her heavy eyelids drifting shut. She reached for Alison and curled into the space around her. “Ali?” she mumbled.

Alison was staring at the ceiling. “Yes?”

“Tell me a story,” Beth smiled sleepily.

“A story?” Alison put an arm around Beth and stroked her hair.

“Mm-hmm—or no, sing me a song,” Beth said, nuzzling Alison’s chest. Somewhere inside, Beth knew the pattern. Alison had gone into her pensive state, the moment of passion had passed. Beth knew what would happen next: this was the part where Alison got up and left her alone again. Still, she tried to prolong this moment, this contentment, however false and unsustainable. “Please? Give me something,” she yawned. “to dream to.” _After you’ve gone_ , she added silently.

“Hmmm,” Alison tightened her arm around Beth. “Let’s see what lullabies I can think of…”

_Who knows what will be, when we wake from our dreams?_

_When we wake from our dreams, we’ll see._


End file.
